if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
