Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
