i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
