lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
two words...techno handjob
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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