Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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