Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
