Nicole vs. Life
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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