I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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