Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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