there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
