just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Found your dick twin last night
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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