Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
