we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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