so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
