I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
