I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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