pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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