Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
