so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
