Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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