Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Its about making memories worth repressing
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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