How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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