Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
COCAINE IS GR8
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize