Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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