Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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