I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
