I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
