dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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