Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
