Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Randomize
