Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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