Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
being pregnant is like rehab
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
