I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Please, let me fuck your mom
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The uberlube is also flammable
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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