She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
