Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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