marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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