suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
