I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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