I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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