and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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