clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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