I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It was confusing and full of hummus
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
