I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
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in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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