whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
