I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
