Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
