I cockslap morals
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
