I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
