Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I would ride that face into the sunset
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
