She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
