you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
