Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
