***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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