he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
