3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
