I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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