problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
