Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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