problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You smell like a Billy Joel song
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
