drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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